2010 Darwin Awards

Courtesy of the Toad King

2010 DARWIN AWARDS


You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado, here are the 2010 Darwin Awards.

Eighth Place

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.

Seventh Place

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

Sixth Place

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired.

The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. So they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed.

RUNNER UP

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.

AND THE WINNER IS....

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit happens'

Good week, more ahead

I've been doing a little more that I normally would this time of the year because of La Vuelta at the end of January. A 3 day ride in PR, 155 miles the first day 81 the second and 130 the third day. The ride is divided in 3 groups, "A" riders aka the Hammer Heads 22mph and up, group "B", the mortals, 18+ and group "C" 15+. My plan is to ride with the B group the first day and then try to hang on with the A's the second day  (short day) and slide to group "D" (the slowly Dying ones) by the end of the ride. So far I've been good as far as training and hitting the trainer and rollers at least 5-6 days a week with 2-3 days of morning evening rides. The key is not just to spin but put some intensity into the rides with a lot of short and long intervals. I'm sure with almost 600 riders total my skills as a wheel sucker will come in handy. I've never done this ride but from all the comments I have read it is very well organized with a police escort closing every road for the 3 pelotons to ride non stop. The latest Bicycling magazine has an 8 page spread on it. There's still spots open. Think about it, 3 days of warm weather riding at the end of January. I was lucky that my niece gave me a free entry to the ride since her business was one of the sponsors last year and they were given 4 free entries. Cashed my Delta sky miles and got a round trip for $35.00. But, and this is a big, huge BUT, don't fly Delta unless you have sky miles, while all the other major airlines charge $100 one way for the bike, Delta charges $200. Thanks to my niece and sky miles for the "savings". I haven't missed a spinning class for the last 2 months to pay for the bike.
Have a great day everyone.

Merry Christmas

A few days late, Merry Christmas Everyone.
Back to work today; not to many cars on the road, wish it was like that everyday of the week.
Spent Christmas eve at my son's with the family and had a great time.
Put in a few good workouts and rode outside on Saturday. Yesterday I was planning on riding outside after church but it was very windy and 23 degrees outside. 23 and no wind I can stand a couple hrs outside, but when it gets windy like yesterday, unless somebody else rides and suffers with me, I stay indoors. Hopefully the week will go fast, I have Friday and Monday off with good temps by the end of the week. By good temps I mean high 30's to maybe 40's. Good riding and hiking weather.
Have a short week everyone.

Save your alarm

Had a very light sleep and kept waking up last night. I had set the alrm for 4:15am to get up and run for 30 minutes and do core work, but at 4am re-set it for 5:30am and tried to go back to sleep. The alarm goes off, get up, take a shower, get ready and head downstairs, sit at the table to read the daily prayer and take a glance at the stove clock...4:45am. I couldn't believe it, then it dawn on me, when I reset the alarm in my phone, I never saved it. What do I do now? Only one thing to do, changed and went downstairs and did upper body weights an core work. Reminds me of when I used to deliver papers when I was in high school, I used to get up at 4am to deliver 100 paper route on my bike rushing to finish before 6:30. One morning I got up at 2am thinking it was 4am and spent 2 hrs cursing the delivery guy thinking he was late and we almost got into a fight when he finally showed up right on time and I was still thinking he was late. When he made me realize I was a jackass for yelling at him I apologized up and down we had a cup of coffee and went on our merry ways. One thing, after that incident he made sure that if he was running late my papers were the first ones dropped off...wonder why.
Now that I think about it, my route was a long one and I had no headlights, no tail lights and no helmet.
Of course, the traffic back then wasn't what it is today, from a small town of 15 to 20,000 people 30 years ago, to over 50,000 today.

The Nativity story, as told by Google

Worth watching

Mid 20's, sunny, clear path...priceless

With temps in the mid 20's and sunny, riding outside had to be better than 1 hr on the trainer. The park bike path was clear with just a few icy spots. Pulled the steel single speed out of hibernation and headed down to the park. Ended up riding for two hrs and enjoyed it which is the important thing  here. This time of the year not to many rides outside are enjoyable. When the sun is out it makes you feel better and warm.
Today, different story, mid 20's again but overcast and windy, one hr on the trainer watching the Browns lose again to a team they should have beaten. They keep going backwards instead of forward.
Someday...someday, the eternal hope of Browns fans.
Here's a few more winter pics.

Marching band kicking a soccer ball

Pics

I don't particularly like cats, but this is a good pic

And a CVNRA pic

Pictures provided by Jeff A.

Clear skies in the future????????

The eastern burbs get pounded with the lake effect snow all the time.
looks like there's a dim light at the end of the tunnel.

Took this picture at 7:15am this morning on my way to work. A little glimmer of hope for the east.



Roads were in very good shape today, unlike yesterday. Most of the burbs I drive through had cancelled school for a second day in a row and the roads were bad.
The temps are climbing to the mid 20's by the end of the week, a lot beter than the mid teens we are having right now with the wind blowing.

Bikepark Wintenberg

The boys are back

Had not heard from the Zen man and spidey in a while. They spent some time in the looney bin after trying to steal my pain killers when I dislocated my shoulder back in April.
I walked into the family room and there they were messing around as usual.

I knew I should've changed all the locks in the house. Can't wait to see what kind of mess they get into. The dog cage is waiting again for them.

Nice weather

With bad weather coming,I'm glad I took advantage of Saturday's "nice" temps and rode for a couple of hrs. Parked at the top of Ridge and the pkwy and took off. Stopped after I crossed 21 to take off  the balaclava and I was dumbfounded when I reached to take my helmet off and...I forgot to put it on. Turned around mad at myself and thought about just going home but I wanted 2 hrs. So, I rode back went down the hill, stopped for a few minutes to talk to Jeff who had just finished his run and ended  up with 30+ and the 2 hrs I was looking for.

Today I got up earlier to do upper body/core work, got ready and headed out the door to turn around after 1 mile. I almost got hit by a ... driver, my car was sliding all over the place. Had enough in just one mile.

so, I came home to this.

Finally, I just sat down to a cup of coffee and enjoy the new lap top we got yesterday and to have a conversation with my buddies at the kitchen table.

Here's a few more winter pics.

1 more day of white knuckle driving

Another knuckle driving session coming in to work, "again" today. Bands of snow coming down hard made it hard to see at times. At least I had no encounters of the "stupid" kind on the roads today. Everybody was taking their time and driving at a safe distance from one another. Roads were very slippery and I slid a couple times but with "all wheel drive" the Vibe recovers fast.
I have to say, everything looks beautiful.

Sorry for the color in the pictures, I forgot to change the setting to daylight in the camera.

The view from inside

The drive in this morning was no fun. Traffic was bumper to bumper on 82 going east or west this morning. I took a couple of side roads in North royalton, made it back to Brecksville and it was still a mess. Took a right turn into Brueggers bagels and had a bagel an coffee waiting for the traffic to clear. 20 mins later the road and traffic were better and made it in at 9am.

From a village to a hill City

Today is the day that ended all Christmas decorations. I like Christmas and can get pretty deep into it when you talk decorations. Got up early and headed to the early service at Grace Baptist in Brunswick at 8:30am to hear my wife sing "Oh Holy Night".
I never get tired of listening to her sing, she has a beautiful voice.
Anyways, I got in the mood to start building the village, so I went to Home Depot and bought a 2x4 pc of plywood painted it white and started decorating. Not soon after the first couple of houses where up I came to the conclussion that I needed a bigger area. Back to Lowes this time and bought a 4x8 and had the guys there cut it into a 3x6.
I'm happy now, got home painted it and started setting up the "city" this time. By the way the plywod was purchased and painted Saturday night. Started setting up and looking like this,

From Street level












Then the wife comes home with an idea, no, let me say great idea. She says 'why don't we build layers? Layers it is. Back to Kohls for more "snow" and she shows up with 3 more buildings, wohooo that's the spirit... and the savings account. We had a great time decorating and it turned out like this.

Notice the lighted light poles, we went all out.
I love this time of the year, I do get in the Christmas spirit.
Next year is going to be a full 4x8 plywood, I can see it now. One thing I will NOT do is put those ridiculous antlers on my head, I rather wear a santa hat.

I did get out on the  road single speed for 1.5 hrs of fast spinnin yaterday and today I manage to put in an hr on the trainer of mostly 30 secs. intervals for 40 minutes with 10 min warm up and 10 min cool down.

New Low

I have sunk to the depths of despair. While doing the rollers/trainer or upper body core work in the early, very early morning, like 4:30am, I have watched so many infomercials ranging from "extenze" to "viagra" to the pitchman, sorry forgot his name, about every product available for sale on TV. I watched ESPN, the weather channel for a 45 minutes, old movies, fairly new movies, TDF and Giro  dvd's, local news, you name it I think I have watched them all. Until last night when I came to the realization I was watching "The Cake Boss" for an hour and actually kind off enjoyed it. I mean this guy can really make some cakes. And now he has a another show about bakers competing for a spot in his team. Yes it is a new LOW, watching a "reality show" about a bakery in Hoboken, New Jersey. I have really sunk into the abyss way deep into a darkness I didn't know it was there. The only way to climb out is to order a cake with a bicycle theme on it. That's an idea that just may work.